Warning! Venting ahead I’ve been having some i…

Warning! Venting ahead

I’ve been having some issues. I’ve had a problem with mild depression for a few years now, and I’ve been letting it drag me down this summer. I’m not on medication, but lately I’ve been wondering if I should be. It seems all the crappy things that have happened this year (getting laid off, my Grandma dying, our dog dying, not finding a full time teaching job, etc etc) have finally just built up enough that I lost myself a little for a while. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know what direction I’m supposed to be going in, in my life. I know a lot of people feel that way, but I’ve been wallowing in it. Dh and I had a discussion last night, and it helped a lot in figuring out what I need to do as far as a job. He makes it sound so easy. It’s not, but at least we have some ground rules now. The problem is, is I want to be a teacher. I’ve never wanted to be anything else, and I’m so pissed and angry and resentful that I can’t find a teaching job that I’m letting it overpower me. Everyone we talk to says they have an “in” at a school district which never amounts to anything, especially MIL. She knows half a million people, but it doesn’t do me any good. I know she means well, but it gets *really* old.

So I have 2 orientations next week to substitute teach. Yeah, I’ve done it before (2 years of it), and it’s better than retail, but I *need* to work regularly. I hope I can.

(Vent over, I think)

I tried to take pictures of myself wearing the harlot poncho this morning, but couldn’t get the lighting in the bathroom (our only mirror) to picture it well, so I’ll have dh take my picture when he gets home. I’ve been working on the socks for my mom for Christmas, and am working on the gusset of the first sock currently. I’m going to go cast on for the DNA scarf later today. I’m itching for a good project, and I think that might satisfy my craving.

I sent out some more Adagio Tea GCs yesterday, and have received many thank yous. You’re all welcome, if you’re reading this; it was the least I could do 🙂 I have to addict more people to that site; I can’t be the only one addicted to it. I just placed another order there last week.

P.S. I changed where my Secret Pal Answers and “100 Things” were hosted; they’re now hosted on blogger with individual blogs I’ll delete at a later date. It just made more sense and I like the template possibilities better than freewebs.


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